1. Welcome to Elements!
I’m happy to be
back with you here after many life changing events!
This year I celebrate 10
years of being an independent consultant in one form or another.
What I have been doing and the volume of it have
changed dramatically in this decade!
I know I’m the one who made
the choice to give up working “for” others and to begin working
independently, but I have to admit it was very poorly planned!
I jumped into starting my own business once I became aware of
what I truly needed in my life.
My “Aha!” moment came on a
beautiful fall day, strolling around a perfectly landscaped pond
and over trails of Old Mills in New England, while enjoying time
with my two boys who were 3 and 8 years old at the time. This
was actually my lunch break and I was at work! It was a
Saturday and I was back on the job doing some engineering
management stuff that was “important” enough that it had brought
me in on a weekend. And I had brought my boys because I didn’t
want to miss out on any more time with them. The beauty of the
day, the beautiful landscape around the office buildings, and
enjoying the time with my boys, caused me to reflect on how
much I had been missing both from, and in, their lives. It
wasn’t something I wanted to have continue any longer. Six
months later, with the help and support of others, I had quit my
job and was working as an independent consultant.
After that, the major focus
of my life was no longer shipping high quality products, within
budget and on time. I wanted to be, and now could have time to be, more
present and available to my family, to relationships with my
friends, and I was also happily able to spend more time in the wonderful
community where I live. I felt that as an independent
consultant, I could continue to grow and explore various other
important options and areas in my life. And I even had time to
visit the dentist for the first time in years! Being aware of
what I needed in my life, and learning to balance those
priorities, became the new focus.
That first “Aha” moment was
like taking the floodgates off a dam. From that point on, I
have been continually building my awareness skills and wondering
what else will appear to surprise or engage me. It hasn’t always
been easy and I have had to creatively integrate a lot of trial
and error along the way!
The main article for this
issue of Elements is part of the “Leadership ABC’s Workshop:
Simplifying Leadership for Professional and Personal Growth.” The beginning topic is, “A is for Awareness,” and it sets the
stage for your understanding about the delights and complexities
of leadership.”
I’ve created Elements as a
periodic newsletter on topics of interest, to promote awareness
in our personal and professional lives, and for the sharing of
ideas.
I hope you find reading
Elements as interesting and enjoyable as I find writing it!
All the best
to you and stay in touch!
Star
(978)
486-4603
www.stardar.com
top
Leadership is about change, whether it’s personal or
professional, small or large.
Leadership
is about moving towards something you want, and creating
something that didn’t exist before. The opposite of
leadership is staying within the limitations of the status quo,
keeping things the same, staying where you are, in the same way
that you have been.
Some form
of leadership is required if you, your team, your family, your
community, or your company intends to do things differently –
creating a different environment or achieving new results.
Leadership requires being different or doing something
differently. It requires change. Change can be messy, chaotic
and very uncomfortable. It’s comforting to know, though, that
effective personal and professional leadership can be learned. There are thousands of books and tools to help leaders develop.
Every decade there are new theories on leadership, on how to be
a good leader, and more. Many of these theories provide valuable insights,
helpful ideas and may resonate with different people. However, until you
acknowledge and believe that each leader and situation is
different, you haven’t approached a true understanding of
leadership.
There is no
one magic formula that applies to all. Each person’s leadership
style is as unique and as individual as they are. This makes it
very difficult to teach leadership and apply leadership models
to everyone and think they will work. Mimicking someone else’s
style might be useful in the short run, yet it is missing the
uniqueness and strength of that individual, and has also not
been integrated to be “your own.” Applying a leadership theory
meant for a manufacturing line to a cutting edge new product
won’t work either. Each person creates his or her own unique
leadership style that changes and that hopefully gets better as
they go along. The choice to be a leader is sometimes made
intentionally and sometimes forced onto a person by
circumstance. I have noticed people who are very strong
leaders in one aspect of their lives, yet who may not necessarily
have the strength in other aspects. It is a lifelong path to develop and expand your
leadership style.
The views
expressed here are my own, based on studying leaders in the
world, leaders I know in corporations and in personal settings,
through my own leadership experiences, and
professional organizations, and in coaching many clients in
leadership roles.
The
intention of these articles is to acknowledge that everyone is
at a different place on their leadership path and to offer key
concepts that are classic and intended to simplify and
effectively move you along your own unique path.
top
Awareness
is a kind of knowledge, of knowing. One dictionary defines
"awareness" as "being awake," "of having full consciousness of."
Awareness is a skill that can be developed, and it can be
applied to different arenas -- there is awareness of yourself, of
others, of environments and situations.
 Being aware of
something creates a meaning, or a sense of an understanding
about something, that can lead to action. For example, if I am
aware of a car weaving on the road, I might attach the
“meaning” or inference that the driver is drunk.
A good leader
is able to see things that others may not be aware of, and can
attach useful meaning to that information. For example someone
else might have noticed the same driver was weaving, and in
addition noticed that the car had bad tires. Based on the
meaning attached to the awareness and observation of a car
weaving, the actions taken surrounding the situation might be
different. If it was a drunk driver, I might have called 911.
If it was a car with something physically wrong, I would have
tried to signal the driver to make them aware of the problem.
As a
leader, being aware of the values, beliefs, culture, skills,
strengths, weaknesses and history of your group is critical for
being able to take action that get results. A powerful yet simple example
is the word "yes". If you are aware of other factors, you may
see that there can be different meanings applied to the word. Saying the word “yes” and shaking your head “no,” may mean
someone isn’t quite sure. In some cultures “yes” means,
"I hear
you," not "I agree with you" and, a step further, also not,
"I will
do it. " That kind of subtle distinction in meaning can and has
caused serious miscommunications and disappointing results for
people, projects, and plans on all seven continents!
top
To become different from what we are, we
must have some awareness of what we are. - Bruce Lee
Problems can not be solved at the same
level of awareness that created them. - Albert Einstein
Awareness leads to meaning which leads to
action which leads to change! - Star
Awareness requires courage to see what is
really there. - Star
Leadership requires awareness of the now
and being able to see its possible connection to the past and
the present. - Star
top
Too much,
too little or not enough of a good things can be a
problem. Here is how awareness can cause some leaders to
not advance in their skills:
1.
I am so Aware – Being
stuck in the love of awareness. Sometimes there is a need to
summarize or draw a conclusion from one’s awareness/perceptions,
determine appropriate action, and move on.
2.
Move on from Awareness –
Ok, so you know! Reliving, revising, replaying,
adding more details to support what you already see doesn't
help. Time to move on, and at this point there are only three
choices for an inner/outer deliberate shift in the situation:
Ignore it, Take action, or Accept it as it is
3.
Nothing’s new – Time to
refresh, sharpen, or change your awareness as a leader. Change
the questions you are asking yourself or others, try a new focus
of awareness, or get feedback from someone or someplace new.
top
To increase Awareness:
1. Improve
your Listening Skills. Do you listen for facts and emotions, to
summarize or to marshal your own facts arguments and have your
voice heard?
2. Know how
to give and receive useful feedback. Useful feedback is
specific, descriptive, measurable and timely.
3. Be
curious. Ask open ended questions, ask for clarity, ask for
history, ask questions to help you understand “why.”
4. Know how
and when to step back and reflect on yourself and the situation
Listening Tools:
To try a
free online listening test from Natalie Manor and Associates go
here:
http://www.nataliemanor.com/listening_test.html
To request a free sample of the Listening tool assessment
send an email to:
admin@stardar.com
To order an
online listening tool send an email to:
admin@stardar.com
To order a
listening tool and one coaching session related to it contact:
admin@stardar.com
Tool to Identify how aware you are:
Fill in
this chart with either YOU, A Person, A Group, or Situation:
|
|
What
YOU Know |
What
YOU Don't Know |
|
What
OTHERS Know
|
|
|
|
What
OTHERS Don't Know
|
|
|
Here is a sample for a project manager
about Presentations:
|
Manager |
What
YOU Know |
What
YOU Don't Know |
|
What
OTHERS Know
|
**Excellent at giving presentations
**Engages the audience during presentations |
**Hand
taps table during presentations
**Only
looks at the center of the room
|
|
What
OTHERS Don't Know
|
**Very
Nervous when giving presentations |
? |
What did
you notice?
Where is
do you feel you need more knowledge?
Are you an
open book to be read by the world?
Do others
know more about you than you may think?
Can you
see any consequences (to yourself, your team, and your personal
relationships) of having the squares be lopsided/out of balance?
What
actions could be taken to increase the amount of information in
each square?
top
Coaching has become an
integral part of all the work I do. I see coaching as a tool
for powerful learning and change for others and for myself!
For this reason, I am in the process of applying for the next
level of coaching certification through the International
Coaches Federation
www.coachfederation.com this level requires 750 hours of
client logs, training and lots more. This level is called a
PCC - Professional Certified Coach. I currently hold CPCC --
Certified Co-Active Coach, certification, which you can
learn about here:
www.thecoaches.com.
Call or email me to arrange
for a sample coaching session to see what it’s all about, and
how it could help you get some results you would like to see!
Elements October 2006
Written by: Star Dargin
Edited by: Diane Johns
Personal submissions will only be published
with permission from the submitter, who is responsible for
ensuring rights to the material. Based on your preference,
submissions can be published anonymously.
The opinions expressed in Elements are the
author's viewpoint. While every effort has been taken to verify
the accuracy of the content, such information is subject to
change without notice. Elements is not responsible for
inadvertent errors.
Star Dargin is an executive and leadership
coach, and consultant. She collaborates with individuals and
teams to provide focus and balance in achieving results.
|
